Recommendations #16: Fleishman Is In Trouble, raising feminist daughters, and Little Women
Novel: Fleishman Is in Trouble by Taffy Brodesser-Akner
What is it: A story of a recently separated man and father enjoying single life on dating apps, whose wife then disappears. The book is written by Taffy Brodesser-Akner, an acclaimed celebrity profiler who has interviewed Nicki Minaj, Gwenyth Paltrow, Tom Hanks, and Bradley Cooper among other celebrities, and she currently works at The New York Times.
Thoughts: Fleishman Is in Trouble is critically acclaimed, but it seems to be one of the more polarising books of 2019 among readers. Many say they don’t like the book because they dislike the main character, but this is personally not an issue I experience when reading fiction.
I did think the last third of the book was going to be more revelatory, and I still don’t understand why the narrator was who they were, but I just really enjoyed this book for its cynical and sharp writing style.
Here’s an excerpt.
Opinion: I thought to raise a feminist daughter I needed to raise a tomboy. But now we both love Frozen (The Guardian)
What is it: A piece by sports writer Megan Maurice on the realisation that holding her daughter back from seeing Frozen was perpetuating the sexist trope that traditionally feminine things are not as worthy as those generally appreciated by men.
Thoughts: I don’t have children, but I often hear parents I know (nearly always mothers) say they don’t like their daughter to wear pink, watch Disney movies, or do other traditionally feminine things. I can see where this comes from – in the quest to raise strong women that don’t conform to gender stereotypes, it seemingly makes sense not to expose your child to typically feminine ideals. However, unless people are also exposing their sons to traditionally female interests, the notion that traditionally male interests are more valuable than those female remains. This is why female-led movies aren’t taken as seriously, it’s why music by women is not seen as ‘cool’, and it’s why magazines and books focusing on fashion, beauty and women’s lives in general are relegated to the label ‘women’s interest.’
Only exposing daughters to pink, dolls and manners is of course just as limiting. As the writer of this piece realises, the aim is to naturally present the world with all its diversity to children to healthily indulge in interests of their own choosing.
Edited excerpt
When I was pregnant with my daughter, I naively imagined that I would soon have a small person I could completely mould. I imagined us having all the same interests and being able to guide her in choosing fun and interesting hobbies.
And then I gave birth to this tiny person who, from the minute she was born three weeks earlier than expected, had her own ideas about when and how she would do things. Eventually I came to realise that as much as I believed I would hold this incredible sway over her tastes and interests, many times she is the one influencing me.
Nowhere is this more apparent than with the Disney phenomenon Frozen. When my daughter was younger, I smugly judged other parents at playgrounds as their daughters struggled to climb up the stairs to the slide, tripping on the hem of their Elsa dresses. I proudly told everyone that we had never seen Frozen, that my daughter didn’t even know who Olaf the snowman was...
...I realised my initial resistance had been this innate belief that to raise a feminist daughter, I had to raise a tomboy who eschewed the traditionally feminine notions of princesses in flowing ball gowns. I’ve since come to understand the power in femininity…
...At a time when society celebrates little girls who play with trucks and women are told to “lean in”, there’s the old ingrained belief that traditionally masculine interests and pursuits are inherently more serious and noteworthy than traditionally feminine things.
For a long time, I didn’t get it, but my daughter did. She feels powerful in a tutu because no one has ever told her that people who wear tutus aren’t powerful. She runs faster in sparkly ballet flats than she does in Nikes because she feels cool and unstoppable.
Article: Everyone’s resolution is to drink more water in 2020 (The New York Times)
What is it: Health experts explaining why you probably don’t need to drink more water.
Thoughts: More than ever, people seem to be carrying water everywhere they go. I kind of love this article counteracting this culture, as perpetuated by the bottled water industry and every single beautiful female celebrity.
This piece actually reminds me a lot of one written by former Frankie magazine editor Mia Timpano years and years ago in Russh magazine. I just combed through my back issues of the magazine and couldn’t find it, but from memory it essentially argues the same thing. You only need to drink water when you’re thirsty! Drinks that are not strictly water like coffee and milk are also hydrating!
More to read…
Why fashion influencers are pivoting to anxiety (Refinery 29)
Why nearly all London homes have the same floorplan (CityLab)
103 days that shaped music in the 2010s (Vulture)
Now bushfire donations are rolling in, so is 'fundraising shaming' (The Age)
Not everyone celebrates Christmas (The Age)
‘Tis the season for contemplating marriage (Man Repeller)
Why baths are the evening equivalent of coffee (Man Repeller)
Movie: Little Women
What is it: Greta Gerwig’s film adaption of the Louisa May Alcott’s 1800s novel.
Thoughts: I don’t think a movie has every lived up to my high expectations as much as Little Women. It was SUCH a delight and I bawled throughout the entire thing.
I embarrassingly haven’t read the book or seen any of the prior screen adaptations, but I loved the end of Jo’s story for the reasons summed up in this Guardian piece (thank you to my colleague Alice for the recommendation!)
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